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Goin’ Postal

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Guess what kids? Very soon you will see me on television nationwide! I will be the hot news. I’ll be on Fox news, MSNBC, CNN, all the popular news outlets. You can say you knew me way back before I became famous.

You see I’m planning on going on a work rampage. I’ll do away with all of my co-workers who really don’t deserve to live, in one violent bloody blast…or actually numerous bloody blasts. I’ll make the Columbine kids look perfectly sane. I’ll revolutionize the entire workplace killing industry.

I will be expecting some gifts and cards while in prison. I promise not to forget about all the little people in my life. I will write and keep in contact with all of you. I’ll share all my prison stories and you can console me after my first raping.

Maybe between TV interviews with people saying how nice I was, and what a good kid I seemed, some nice soul will send me a cake with a file in it to help me escape, or some equally insane woman I meet from a “Meet an Inmate” service will help me plan my escape.

Comments

  1. One of those days, eh?

  2. Ouch!

    This is the first time I used Internet Explorer after a very long time. I wanted to check if my blog displayed properly. Then I thought of checking others.

    Then I went to your site. The first thing I noticed was the banner that said “ATTENTION: YOUR BROWSER SUCKS!”

    Too funny!

    Do you have that as a plugin? I wouldn’t mind putting it on my blog too! LOL!

  3. Don,
    The anti-IE banner is created by adding a conditional comment for IE to the body of your site. You can view the source of my site and see the if IE comment just after the opening body tag.

    Then I simple created an id in my stylesheet for “ifie” like so:

    #ifie {
    position: absolute;
    z-index: 1;
    right: 0;
    top: 0;
    }

  4. Thanks, Christopher. I’ll try it. Oh, btw, the banner isn’t showing when I’m using IE on Mac. Well, for the most part, your website is showing perfectly, except the comments. On Windows, it’s totally different.

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You are reading “Goin’ Postal”, an entry originally published on Wednesday, November 16, 2005 at 2:54 pm and filed under Life and Rants.

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