Halloween Sucks
- Posted at: 12:00 pm
- Filed in: Life
I heard a startling fact over the weekend. Halloween is the second most popular holiday in the US in terms of money spent. I’ve never really been a huge fan of Halloween. My disdain for the holiday may stem from the fact that 15 of the years I actually participated in the holiday I was forced to be Dracula. It was a cheap outfit–throw on some white face paint, slick the ole hair back, plastic fangs and voila a 5 dollar outfit. My other years were spent pimpin’ a hand-me-down pin-stripe suit as a gangster. Gotta take full advantage of those stereotypes!
So far this year I have been invited, and plan on attending 2 seperate Halloween parties. I have yet to think of anything creative to wear. I usually have loads of great ideas throughout the year for costumes, but never around the actual holiday. Any help with ideas would be much appreciated. If I actually use a submitted idea I will award the person 1 absolutely free candy corn!
Go get a cheap brown suit from Goodwill, a blondish afro, & some glasses and be Napoleon Dynamite. That’s the only thing I could think of.
I like Halloween because it’s just another excuse to go to party and get really drunk. …And I like the girls that wear a slutty nurse or maid outfit.
Now where’s my free candy corn?
I have seen actual Napoleon Dynamite kits…complete with glasses and afro, but with my skin tone I might be able to pull off Pedro more than Napoleon.
LOL! my son is going to be a dracula… BUT.. he picked it!
The other one is going to be a Knight.
Get the most ordinary mask you can. Fasten the mask onto something round, like a small pillow or a stuffed t-shirt the same color as the mask. Set the fake head aside.
Stuff a backpack with something light, like something inflatable, or maybe a fluffy blanket. Put a pair of pants on the bottom of the backpack, and hold them on with a belt. Button a shirt around the top of the backpack, tucking it into the pants.
Wear pants that don’t match the ones the backpack is wearing. Put on a button- or zip-up shirt which you can fasten halfway up. Leave the arms hanging down and put on the backpack.
Put on the backpack. Put your arms into the backpack’s shirt. Hang the mask/face/head from a necklace or belt, and fasten your shirt’s collar around it. Stuff the sleeves of the shirt you’re wearing and tuck them under the backpack’s legs.
At this point, the illusion should be almost perfect. It looks like you’re riding around on someone else’s back. Have someone stick some socks or something in the dangling pants legs. Walk with a slight stoop, and lean your head forward.
For added laughs, talk to your “carrier” and/or apply encouraging whacks to go faster. You will get a lot of double takes.